Do What Your Told...or Maybe Not

"Do what your told!"  That was the command barked to a child by his mother yesterday while I was in the grocery store, trying to find an avocado that had some pliability (I didn't find one).  I didn't hear what it was that she told him to do, but it must of have been serious judging by the amplification of her voice.  I secretly agreed, and in my head I was saying, "Yeah, do what your told!"  I think everyone knows that my patience with children is somewhere between nil and none, only because most of the children I meet are mutant degenerate little barbarians.  However, I started thinking about this:  should one always do what they are told?  

When I was in kindergarten, I had to go to the little girl's room during story time.  Because it was during story time I was hesitant about asking, but I had to go, and I mean I had to go bad.  I reluctantly raised my tiny little elfish-sized hand and asked politely to go to the restroom.  My teacher told me no.  I raised my hand again a bit later (only because the situation was growing desperate) and told her I really had to go.  She said, "Then go in your pants."  So I did.  Everyone laughed at me, but I didn't care.  She told me to go in my pants, she was my teacher, so I did.  I was doing what I was told.

In the first grade, while learning to print my entire name, I discovered that doing what you are told can be conflicting and bring about some unfortunate results.  My middle name is Lyn, spelled with just one "n" (I don't know why my parents did that) yet my first grade teacher would always write in a second "n" in red pen, indicating that I was spelling my middle name wrong, so I started spelling it with two "n's."  My parents noticed this and told me my middle name only had one "n" so I went back to spelling it with one, and my teacher continued to "correct" it by writing in the 2nd "n" while my parents continued to "correct" me at home.  I was so confused that I stopped writing my middle name at all, even pretending I didn't have a middle name (which is pretty deep for a first grader if you ask me).  If only I'd known to get my parents and my teacher on the same page with what they were telling me to do, the chaos would have been eliminated and I may not need the therapy that I now require as an adult.

On the flip side of this, doing what your told may save your life.  When my sister and I were 3 or 4 years old, we were jumping up and down on the sofa and my mother said, "Stop jumping on the sofa or you will fall off and crack your head wide open."  That is exactly what happened.  Fell, cracked top of head on stereo console, had to go to the emergency room.  Stitches were required.  A few years later, I think I was 10, my mother told me to tie my shoe or I would trip and crack my head wide open.  Yup, you guessed it.  Tripped, head landed on a rock, had to go to the emergency room.  Stitches again required and I have a nice dent in my forehead to remind me of the incident for the rest of my silly life.

Either I was very unlucky, or my mom was somehow putting a curse on me, or she just wanted to see what I would look like with multiple dents and scars all over my head, to make it easier to tell my twin sister and I apart.

So, after this trip down memory lane, and recalling the vexation and grief I endured due to doing what I was told and not doing what I was told, I decided the kid has no chance either way and will more than likely have need for therapy in the future.

--Fortuitous Observer