Photo from CBC News
It is no secret that I'm caught up in the Christmas spirit this year, more so than in years past, and I'm trying to keep this train of cheer and goodwill toward man chugging forward, but it is also no secret that I'm a cynic, I'm convinced many people should undergo forced lobotomies, and I'm easily annoyed with stupidity; therefore, Christmas shopping in a public store/mall is a true ordeal for me.
Happily, I've done most of my holiday shopping online and have not had to endure many trips to public places where I'm more than likely to encounter rude, entitled miscreants. It is this lack of interaction with dimwits that has allowed me to keep my good mood and Christmasy cheer intact!
Because even the most conscientious of people, those who know the spoken and unspoken rules of what constitutes good behavior in a polite society, can become a subnormal dolt while out and about during this festive season, I want to remind everyone of a few Christmas shopping rules of etiquette:
- If someone holds a door open for you as you juggle your purchases say, "Thank you." If I hold a door open for you and you do not say, "Thank you," I'm going to let you know that you didn't say it, and I will be sure to let everyone within earshot hear me schooling you in Christmas shopping etiquette.
- Do NOT walk around in circles like a dimwit talking on your cell phone in the middle of a store like you would if you were home. Why? Because YOU ARE NOT AT HOME! You are in a public space where people do their shopping and they do not need, and most importantly, want to hear your banal conversation about...ANYTHING!
- This could be lumped in with number 2, but enough impudent donkeys do this that it requires its own bullet...texting while standing in the middle of an aisle in a store as others are trying to shop around you is not acceptable behavior. What shocks me about this is most of the offenders I encounter are not teenagers, they are the moms of teenagers. I know you are trying to show everyone what a hip cool chick you are and that you have an iPhone (that your husband has to keep showing you how to use), but holding up other shoppers and forcing them to go around you isn't cool. Put it down, or go sit on a bench and text your bff. Maybe you think you can shop and text at the same time, but you CAN'T. I know, because I CAN'T!
- It is the Christmas season, and people will be shopping, stores will be crowded and you are not the only one in the store. There WILL be lines at the registers, for the bathrooms, for food, etc. You are not entitled to ask others in line if you can go ahead of them. I was asked this a few years ago by a woman who was huffing and puffing and shuffling around in line because she was mad that she, Queen of the Land of Faux Fur and YSL Bags, had to wait. She asked me (in a very haughty manner) if she could go ahead of me because she only had 2 items and I had 4. I gave her my gargoyle stare for many seconds and said nothing. She slipped back to her place in line, didn't say another word and I'm sure she had nightmares about me that night.
- If a sales clerk has done nothing to you, or has given you no reason to be a cad, then DON'T. Trust me, they don't want to wait on you anymore than you would want to wait on them. This also goes the other way around: Sales clerks, if I haven't been rude to you, don't be rude to me. Thank you.
- Lastly...baby strollers that are 6 feet wide. Ladies, if you can't get a babysitter, and you don't have a small "appropriate for tight quarters" stroller, then stay home and do your shopping online. I don't mean to offend anyone with children, but the monstrous strollers that could double as freight haulers are not befitting for crowded stores. I was shopping in a small (and I mean S M A L L) gift shop once, and the owner of the boutique posted a sign just outside the door that said "No Strollers Allowed." Of course, an entitled, rude dragon-woman brought her stroller inside because that sign was clearly for everyone but her, and this stroller was so wide it wouldn't fit down the aisles. As I was looking at some cards, she stood there waiting for me to move out of her way and when I didn't, she started clearing her throat. I won't repeat what I said to her, but some of the other patrons actually clapped for me. Woman and stroller swiftly left the store. Please don't be rude and expect everyone to work around your rudeness.
That is all. I hope everyone is having a lovely Christmas season so far! Stay safe out there, and wear chain maille if necessary!
--Fortuitous Observer
