Yes, yes they do. Despite my pretty alliterative title, this is an ugly topic because there are some ugly cretins out there.
Poseidon and I went to the Carolina Panthers football game yesterday. Rain was in the forecast, so we purchased a couple of hooded rain ponchos the day before, just in case.
The game was more than a little boring, and the Panthers lost, though both teams played like kids on an elementary school playground. Still, we like watching football, and the beer was cold, and the junk food was hot, so we weren't complaining.
There was even a near brawl during the 2nd quarter between three young Seahawks fans and a much larger mob of Panthers fans, which ended before it began with the Seattle boys being removed from the stadium. There were several Carolina football fans in the stands ready to make punching bags of the spindly hipsters, so fortunately for them, security intervened or it would have been an unpleasant scene for all.
During the 3rd quarter of the game, Poseidon and I decided to get some food. We didn't want to carry all of our stuff with us, so we left Poseidon's rain poncho, still in its zippered pouch, under his seat, along with the game program, a bag of peanuts, etc.
I think you know where I'm going with this, and you would be correct. When we returned to our seats, we noticed that Poseidon's rain poncho was gone. I was astonished, truly stupefied. I cannot believe that people still steal random shit. I mean, it would be a different story if it was actually raining! For the love of Pete, you simpletons who took the poncho, if you can afford to buy tickets to the game, you can afford to buy a flipping rain poncho from Target (although, I'm going to admit, those little vinyl beasts are expensive)!
We were in the 2nd to the last row, and not a huge crowd in that section, and I have my suspicions about which ass hat stole the poncho, but who really cares, right? It doesn't matter which aborted-attempt-at-being-a-decent-member-of-society took it, it just matters that someone did take it, thus, ensuring my cynicism will live on, so thanks for that you vile filching dimwit.
--Fortuitous Observer
