With the passing away of Neil Armstrong last month, and Space Shuttle Endeavour heading for retirement, it is with considerable trepidation that I face my self-diagnosed "NASA anxiety." Born exactly 6 months (to the day) before the first landing on the moon (or, if you are a conspiracy theorist, the theatrical production of the first landing on the moon), this Gen Xer takes our space program seriously, sometimes, and this is why I'm now confessing that I hold myself responsible for the space shuttle disasters.
I hold myself responsible because I insisted on watching them live. January 28, 1986, in high school, I voted "YES" (along with the majority of my classmates) to watching the live take off of Space Shuttle Challenger during a Social Studies class. Our teacher was excited because Sharon Christa McAuliffe, the
first teacher to fly in space, was a crew member. History in the making folks.
Just over one minute into the flight, we saw the infamous blast of bright light, and we watched in horror as the space shuttle disintegrated, fiery pieces falling from the sky. LIVE. The reporters were at a loss for words. For the first time all year, that classroom full of high school students went completely silent.
Fast forward to February 1, 2003. I got up early that morning to watch the landing of Space Shuttle Columbia. I sat on the sofa with my bowl of cereal and a blanket, watching the television screen like a cat watching a mouse. A few minutes before 9am, the shuttle is nearing the coast of California. A play-by-play announcer on television made the whole thing that much more exciting. But then, something went wrong, because Columbia wasn't appearing where it should be, over Texas, at least that is when I remember feeling anxious. "Roger, uh, bu --" was the last contact. I won't go through all the details because those are readily available all over the internet, but I spent the entire day engulfed in the drama. I watched all the NASA press conferences, eyewitness accounts, conjecture from engineers, scientists, meteorologists, laypersons, family of the crew, etc.
I was sad but mostly stunned. Then, because I'm neurotic, I thought, "Damn, I did it again!" It was at that moment I decided my watching the space shuttle landings and take-offs was the cause of these freak disasters and I would watch no more.
As curious as I was, I chose not to watch the Endeavour make its way to California last week. As much as I wanted to watch it pass over the Golden Gate Bridge, I wanted more for it to make it safely.
It still has some road traveling to do before it arrives at its final home, the California Science Center, so someone let me know when it's all over and I can turn on the television again.
Challenger Flight Crew - By NASA [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
--Fortuitous Observer
